Assist Me: Doom's Quest for Yogurt!
by Fr0stsamurai
Summary: One-Shot of Assist Me. After Doom finds that there's no yogurt left in the fridge, he ventures out to find some! Rated T for some language


"Ugh. . ." moaned Doom as he stumbled off the couch. It was morning, and fortunetly, he hadn't gotten drunk off of Doom Equis again (Max had forced Doom to rebuild the house after he had destroyed it in a drunken rage with the Finger Lazers.). Doom stumbled to his feet and had one thing on his mind: Yogurt. He headed toward the refridgerator, scouring it for any bit of yogurt they had. He came up empty handed, but he didn't give up. He looked through the cabinets for any trace of the cold dairy snack. Nothing. "MAX!" Doom called through the house. "MAX, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? DOOM NEEDS MORE YOGURT!" Doom searched the house for Max, with the intention of making him go out and by more yogurt. He then noticed a sticky note slapped onto the framed Ultimate Marvel VS Capcom 3 poster behind the couch. 'Dear Doom, gone out to buy Street Fighter X Tekken. Should be back by 3. Max-' "Doom can't survive without yogurt!" Doom said, his patience growing thin. He took out his prized Rarity doll. "Don't worry, Rarity." Doom said to the Equestrian toy. "Doom shall go out and quest for yogurt." Packing up some supplies (3 bottles of Doom Equis, and an arcade stick), Doom stepped outside and began his journey for yogurt. Doom began his trek by heading towards the only place he knew had yogurt: The Corner Store. Doom bursted into the Corner Store and yelled at the nearest store clerk, "DO YOU HAVE ANY YOGURT HERE FOR DOOM?" The clerk shook his head, but in compenstation, suggested a Go-Gurt for Doom. "Go-Gurt?" Doom exclaimed in disgust. "If it's not yogurt, then Doom doesn't want it!" He then left the store, slamming the door behind him. After that, Doom barged into every store on the block, asking if they had any yogurt. Each time, he was greeted with a reply of "No". This continued on until. . .

"We don't have yogurt," The cashier of the 17th store Doom had visited told him, "but we DO have frozen yogurt!" Doom shook his head in response. "If it's not yogurt, then Doom doesn't want it!" as Doom sat on the sidewalk, wondering what he would do without yogurt, he suddenly had a spark of inspiration. Doom barged back into the store and yelled, "Wait, Doom changed his mind!" After buying a small container of frozen yogurt (With Bison Dollars, of course), Doom proceeded towards the nearest park and set the container on the ground. He crossed his hands and stretched out his fingers, energy building in each of them. As the energy built up to its maximum velocity, Doom pointed his glowing fingers toward the frozen yogurt.

Maximillion strolled along the sidewalk, a Gamestop bag in his hand. Surprisingly, the lines at Gamestop for Street Fighter X Tekken hadn't been very long and it only took him 45 minutes to get to the front of the line. Just as he thought this was gonna be a great day of playing Street Fighter X Tekken, however. . . "THE FINGER LAZERS!" An explosion echoed in Max's ears as he turned his head toward the source of the explosion. Seeing smoke from the explosion, Max ran as fast as he could toward the source, hoping that Doom hadn't destroyed half of the park.

Doom crouched down and scavenged the crater of the explosion from the Finger Lazers. Hopefully, his idea of melting the frozen yogurt to its regular yogurt state hadn't fried his prize to bits. He found the frozen yogurt's container, albeit blackened from the explosion, and peeled off the lid. He was greeted with ashes in place of creamy yogurt as Doom tried hopelessly to get any taste at all of yogurt out from the remains. Doom cried, his plans to get yogurt now done for, as Max caught up with Doom at the crater. "Doom," Max sighed. "what the hell did you do this time?" "All Doom wanted was some yogurt! But it's all gone!" The Latverian Doctor sobbed. Max facepalmed. "Doom, didn't I tell you about the extra supply of yogurt I had in the fridge?" Doom flashed back to the night before. He was playing some Ultimate MVC3 as Strider when Max came up behind him and said, "Doom, I'm gonna put some extra yogurt in the fridge for you so you don't nag me about going to the store and buying some for you, ok?" "Uh-huh," Doom replied, not listening to Max, as he was owning as Strider. "But Doom didn't any ANY yogurt in the fridge this morning!" Doom told Max, snapping back to the present. "Well, if you didn't eat the extra yogurt, then who did?" Max wondered.

Wesker grinned as he opened up his 7th cup of yogurt. His plan of hiding the extra yogurt Max had bought for Doom was the perfect idea. Now, he knew why Victor loved yogurt so much. "WESKER!" Came Doom's enraged voice as he charged into the room. "YOU YOGURT STEALING BITCH!"


End file.
